Embrace... yourself

Body image – it’s something we all struggle with. I sure as heck do.

Over the past few years my weight has fluctuated all over the map. Growing up I was very active with sports at school: volleyball, basketball, running track etc. Dance was a *big* part of my life. I was in ballet, tap, modern, Ukrainian, the list goes on.  Naturally, with all of that activity, I was a very lean person.

We often hear about horrible things kids or even adults say to other kids who may have a little meat on their bones. On the flipside, I got the same kind of attention but in reverse: I was so thin, people used to tease me that I was anorexic. I would always want so badly to gain weight to stop the teasing and I’d eat like a horse to try to gain that weight. Nothing changed. I was that way until I was about 19, or 20 years old.

My cousin used to warn me that I’d soon grow into my “Ukrainian baba ass” and I could only laugh because it wasn’t foreseeable.

Well sure enough it happened. That booty grew but so did other parts of my body. I entered a relationship (isn’t that always how it goes?) and the pounds started adding on. Over the years the weight just kept coming on, but I did nothing about it. Exit said relationship and sure enough the pounds dropped and I was almost the weight I was in my teens (I dropped about 25+ pounds…fast! Courtesy of buying a house stress, loss of relationship stress, being distanced from a family I grew to be a part of stress, and much more positive stuff like dancing my ass of fun!). This was not the desired way to lose weight, but meh it worked. I felt better about myself. I got complimented often (which I’m not particularly comfortable with, but it was nice to know that the change was visible). I was able to wear clothes from earlier years, and buy new ones that looked and felt good. All the while, I know I actively did nothing to contribute to the loss.

It was short lived. Enter another relationship, and sure enough the pounds started coming back thanks to several date nights, eating out, grabbing a few beers, socializing, etc. Hey, what can I say… we like our food!

Knowing that I don’t want to go back to the weight I was in the 1st relationship where I gained so much weight, I am now actively trying to either maintain my current weight and tone up or drop a couple. This is huge for me since I’ve never ACTIVELY tried to lose weight. Growing up, the sports and dance and having a super high metabolism never “trained” me to know how to eat properly/exercise. So I’m now in a new stage where I have to learn discipline (hello… discipline and lex are like oil and water!).

 But it’s FUN! And it’s something that I can take away and actually know that I actively had something to do with the changes in my body – not just chalking it up to stress and partying.

I will never give up food (as in the bad foods). I will learn self-control and not deprive myself of things I like, but this is where discipline comes in.

That Kate Moss quote all over Pinterest and other social media sites “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” sickens me.

1) Look at the source. Do you *really* look up to Kate Moss? Really? Disgusting.

2) EAT! People who pick at their food in person because they simply don’t want to eat/be seen eating (I have no idea what it is) is tres annoying! Depriving yourself of food is super unhealthy, extremely unflattering and, well…. Awkward. Food is FUEL.  Your body needs fuel to stay energized!

3) Bones protruding from your body? Yeah… that’s as hot as whale tail sticking out of girl’s asses.

How about changing your mindset and adopting quotes that are more positive?
“Nothing looks as good as healthy feels.” <--So true. Tell me a fit person DOESN’T look better than someone pasty skinned from lack of nutrients with jaunt elbows and cheekbones

 “Strong is the new skinny.” If someone’s going to smack a bitch, I’d rather be the strong bitch than the skinny bitch. Jusssayin!

The list goes on. I don’t know why this is in my head. All I know is going to the gym and yoga and seeing the girls who take pride in keeping their bodies fit; seeing other girls work HARD to BECOME fit or to shed some pounds is extremely motivating. It’s such a good environment and despite all of my prior ranting and raving about having to go to the gym – it’s become routine for me and I look forward to going. (Never EVER did I think those words would come out of my mouth/fingers).

 And lose the competition. So you don’t like a girl/having troubles with a girl/perhaps jealous of her so you feel the need to compare your body to hers.

This kind of thing really shows your maturity.