2012 has been pure crap for a laundry list of reasons. "Dirty Thirty", right? No...
Dirty, shit stained, vomit inducing, kicked in the nuts Thirty describes it more.
I can't say there's even one person who knows the half of what has happened this year. Not one. No doubt, I am a vault. I do not have that bone in me that just allows me to openly discuss what has me down. It very much needs to be forced out of me... but when there's no one willing/wanting/available to do the forcing, all of the ghosts stay not-so-neatly in the closet. This has been something I've accepted. And don't worry, I know the role I play in that fiasco.
As this year starts to come to a close, I try to look ahead at the possibility of happier times. The potential is there. I know I have to suck some things up. Perhaps I'm not ready to do so yet. Does that mean I want to be unhappy? Sickening thought.
I don't think that is the case.. What I do know I need to work on myself and being a better person. I need to learn to accept certain situations; accept people and forgive no matter the hurt I've been put through; accept Life's ups and downs.
It's just not always easy.
And I'm tired.
This has been a Debbie Downer post. I will take that first step, though, in the right direction. These blues are just much too exhausting.
2012/year 30 - you suck.
Things can only go up from here....right?
