There's that age old question about if you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be.
Many would want to be invisible... so they could creep, or scare people, or play tricks.
Others I'm sure would want to have the ability to fly.
Some may even want the power to read people's minds. Personally, I think I'd go nutso listening to peoples thoughts. Scary thought.
For me... it's not really a superpower persay. I've often wished I had the ability to pick up any language that I heard. How cool would it be to go absolutely anywhere and be able to communicate effectively with anyone you met. Or even just listen (that's the observer in me).
What a breeze travelling would be. I always wished on my trips down south that I could speak Spanish and not butcher simple requests like, "Un(o?) cervesa, por favor." Or "mucho rummo." <--- don't judge... it worked.
And what I wouldn't do to be able to understand the Vietnamese ladies when I get my pedicures. You knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww they're talking about your crummy feet or your hairy legs to everyone in the shop. But all you can do is put on a smile and laugh awkwardly. But...to be able to pipe up in Vientamese and apologize for the dry, cracked summer heels..... the reaction would be stellar. Even if it just happened once.
This world is such an incredible capsule of diversity.
I find different languages so.... beautiful.
I used to be able to speak Ukrainian. I lost that language.
I could get by on basic French. Gonezo is that language also.
Over time I have developed a sort of Sprench (spanish/english/french) fusion language.
It's butchered.
It's ugly.
But it's fun.
I went to the bartender-o and asked for some mucho rummo. Seriously... senhor-eh thought I was ananas (<----intending "bananas").
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Is anyone in the microwave?
Some may say I'm complicated...maybe not. Either way, I say I'm random.
I am very much the type of person who will burst out laughing out of nowhere over something funny I remembered from a week ago.
No PREEfaces either.
When I tell a story, you often have to pay close attention because I can be talking about erupting monsoons...and then talk about the deer with the pool in the backyard the next minute.
No PREEface.
There are very few who actually get me. I'm really not complicated... for the most part, what you see is what you get. However there is definitely an element of Lex that not a lot of people are privy to. See, it takes me a while to open up to people. Like really open up. So the depth isn't always there at the forefront... I know this and I'm ok with this. I tread with caution. I'm an observer.
I trust few.
Only a few have come to understand this element...and not surprisingly, only those few I would trust with my life.
It's funny because whenever I have a shit day, I will always turn to these peeps and in just a few minutes of randomness... less preeface... all is better in the world. Sometimes its just a voice of reason...a solid shake to keep me from getting irrational. Other times its knowing the exact right thing to say to get me to bust a gut laughing.
Those are the moments. My paramount picture moments in life.
I am very much the type of person who will burst out laughing out of nowhere over something funny I remembered from a week ago.
No PREEfaces either.
When I tell a story, you often have to pay close attention because I can be talking about erupting monsoons...and then talk about the deer with the pool in the backyard the next minute.
No PREEface.
There are very few who actually get me. I'm really not complicated... for the most part, what you see is what you get. However there is definitely an element of Lex that not a lot of people are privy to. See, it takes me a while to open up to people. Like really open up. So the depth isn't always there at the forefront... I know this and I'm ok with this. I tread with caution. I'm an observer.
I trust few.
Only a few have come to understand this element...and not surprisingly, only those few I would trust with my life.
It's funny because whenever I have a shit day, I will always turn to these peeps and in just a few minutes of randomness... less preeface... all is better in the world. Sometimes its just a voice of reason...a solid shake to keep me from getting irrational. Other times its knowing the exact right thing to say to get me to bust a gut laughing.
Those are the moments. My paramount picture moments in life.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Unforgettable
Epic-ness is...
Random Tuesday evening with fantastic company, fantastic tunes and fantastic booze.
So many laughs, screeches and the odd tumble.
Truly, priceless.
There's nothing like solid A-1 friendships.
Random Tuesday evening with fantastic company, fantastic tunes and fantastic booze.
So many laughs, screeches and the odd tumble.
Truly, priceless.
There's nothing like solid A-1 friendships.
Friday, April 15, 2011
101 in 1001 update
A while back I posted about my 101 in 1001 days (old blog). Figured I'd take a peek and do some updates.
The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days
The Criteria Tasks must be specific (ie. no abiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
Starting Date: Saturday October 31, 2009 Ending Date: Saturday July 28, 2012
1. Read the Twilight Series
2.Give away something I love
3.Start writing daily in a journal
4. Organize & print my photos; place them in albums
5. Go whitewater rafting
6.Lose 5lbs
7.Lose 10lbs
8.Lose 15lbs
9. “Unplug” for one whole weekend – no BlackBerry, no Internet, no TV, no computer
10.Reach 2000 Twitter updates
11. Make a jar of 1000 origami mini stars
12. Read 100 books (5/100)
13. Take a pole dancing class
14. Get another tattoo
15.Buy a house
16. Milk a cow
17. Learn how to speak basic spanish
18. Run a 10k race
19. Drink nothing but water for 2 weeks
20. Go on a trip to NYC
21. Drive around the Cabot Trail
22. Go Geocaching
23. Prepare my Will
24. Go play Bingo
25. Go to Mexico
26. Sell some stuff on eBay
27. Send/Give 100 cards “just because.” (0/100)
28.Try 5 new restaurants in town. (5/5)
29. Take one nature photo a day for a month (0/30)
30.Ask for someone’s advice… and take it
31. Do 100 situps a day for a month (0/30)
32.Attend a hot yoga class
33. Finish the 1st Outlander book
34.Run a 5K race
35. Write down something positive about myself for 30 days straight
36.Go for a bike ride
37.Create a website for the cake business (http://ifthecakefits.blogspot.com)
38. Take a photography class
39. Bake an apple pie from scratch
40.Pay off my credit cards
41.Give a stranger a compliment
42.Get contact lenses
43. Get a promotion at work
44. Go tobogganing
45. Learn at least 50 ASL signs
46. Go fishing
47. Paint and display 3 canvas paintings (1/3)
48. Learn how to play chess
49. Watch all seasons of Dexter
50. Watch all seasons of Entourage
51. Go up the CN Tower
52. Go to the hot springs
53. Make sushi for dinner
54. Go to spin class regularly (1x a week at minimum)
55.Host a turkey dinner
56. Host a Ukrainian dinner
57. Get my teeth whitened
58.Slow dance
59. Buy myself something from Tiffany’s
60. Complete 3 – 1500 piece or more jigsaw puzzles (0/3)
61. Organize my closet
62. Buy a new coffee table
63. Work out faithfully 3x a week for 2 months (3/8weeks)
64. Visit the Toronto zoo
65. Go to Oaklawn Zoo
66. Go horseback riding
67. Take a trip to Las Vegas
68. Play a game of 18-hole golf
69. No swearing for a day x12 (0/12)
70. Read 6 autobiographies (0/6)
71. Get braces
72. Host a giveaway on my blog
73. Put change in someone’s expired parking meter
74. Hang out at the library
75. Order a fish dish at a restaurant (not including sushi or salmon)
76. Host a martini party
77. Learn how to make Pho
78.Take lunch to work every day for 2 weeks
79. Make homemade bread
80. Go fly a kite
81. Go skydiving
82. Do 20 “real” pushups consecutively
83.Give a massage
84. Go on a “girls day” trip
85.Dye my hair a different color
86. Go to a concert
87.Go on a trip to PEI
88. Take an Excel course
89. Go wine tasting
90.Acquire a Crokinole game board
91.Go visit Halls Harbour at low tide
92. Go apple picking
93. Make a recipe book with my favorite recipes
94. Make a batch of homemade perogies
95. Have a weekend getaway at a B&B
96. Visit the Rocky Mountains
97. Save $5000
98. Spend a day at the spa
99. Compose a new list of 101 things to do in 1001 days
100. For every task I do not complete, donate $1 to charity
101. Put aside $5 for every completed task
23/101
The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days
The Criteria Tasks must be specific (ie. no abiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
Starting Date: Saturday October 31, 2009 Ending Date: Saturday July 28, 2012
1. Read the Twilight Series
2.
3.
4. Organize & print my photos; place them in albums
5. Go whitewater rafting
6.
7.
8.
9. “Unplug” for one whole weekend – no BlackBerry, no Internet, no TV, no computer
10.
11. Make a jar of 1000 origami mini stars
12. Read 100 books (5/100)
13. Take a pole dancing class
14. Get another tattoo
15.
16. Milk a cow
17. Learn how to speak basic spanish
18. Run a 10k race
19. Drink nothing but water for 2 weeks
20. Go on a trip to NYC
21. Drive around the Cabot Trail
22. Go Geocaching
23. Prepare my Will
24. Go play Bingo
25. Go to Mexico
26. Sell some stuff on eBay
27. Send/Give 100 cards “just because.” (0/100)
28.
29. Take one nature photo a day for a month (0/30)
30.
31. Do 100 situps a day for a month (0/30)
32.
33. Finish the 1st Outlander book
34.
35. Write down something positive about myself for 30 days straight
36.
37.
38. Take a photography class
39. Bake an apple pie from scratch
40.
41.
42.
43. Get a promotion at work
44. Go tobogganing
45. Learn at least 50 ASL signs
46. Go fishing
47. Paint and display 3 canvas paintings (1/3)
48. Learn how to play chess
49. Watch all seasons of Dexter
50. Watch all seasons of Entourage
51. Go up the CN Tower
52. Go to the hot springs
53. Make sushi for dinner
54. Go to spin class regularly (1x a week at minimum)
55.
56. Host a Ukrainian dinner
57. Get my teeth whitened
58.
59. Buy myself something from Tiffany’s
60. Complete 3 – 1500 piece or more jigsaw puzzles (0/3)
61. Organize my closet
62. Buy a new coffee table
63. Work out faithfully 3x a week for 2 months (3/8weeks)
64. Visit the Toronto zoo
65. Go to Oaklawn Zoo
66. Go horseback riding
67. Take a trip to Las Vegas
68. Play a game of 18-hole golf
69. No swearing for a day x12 (0/12)
70. Read 6 autobiographies (0/6)
71. Get braces
72. Host a giveaway on my blog
73. Put change in someone’s expired parking meter
74. Hang out at the library
75. Order a fish dish at a restaurant (not including sushi or salmon)
76. Host a martini party
77. Learn how to make Pho
78.
79. Make homemade bread
80. Go fly a kite
81. Go skydiving
82. Do 20 “real” pushups consecutively
83.
84. Go on a “girls day” trip
85.
86. Go to a concert
87.
88. Take an Excel course
89. Go wine tasting
90.
91.
92. Go apple picking
93. Make a recipe book with my favorite recipes
94. Make a batch of homemade perogies
95. Have a weekend getaway at a B&B
96. Visit the Rocky Mountains
97. Save $5000
98. Spend a day at the spa
99. Compose a new list of 101 things to do in 1001 days
100. For every task I do not complete, donate $1 to charity
101. Put aside $5 for every completed task
23/101
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Home sweet home
I love my little apartment.
There are so many nights where I just turn the TV off, sit back and look around my little apartment.
And I grin.
This summer I spent countless hours looking for a new place to live. For the first time....ever, I was on the hunt for a place on my own. Such a random turn of events since just a few months prior I was on the hunt for my first house...which I bought, lived in for a weekend and as quickly as I was in the door, I was on my way out.
This apartment was a huge deal for me. The biggest mark of my independence. When I first laid my eyes on this place I knew it was the one. With the sun and the moon and the stars aligning, sure enough, my application was approved!
Movers helped bring my stuff over. Two incredible friends with helping hands assisted me with putting my kitchen and bedroom away.
Over time I started to take on little projects. There are no words to describe the feeling of accomplishment after installing the blinds in my bedroom and living room.
Of course there were f-bombs spit out quite frequently. And we won't talk about the mess of tools and nails needed to install the blinds. This was all part of the process.
I installed a hand towel holder by myself... after a few attempts.
There was the gong show which was the attempts made to install my headboard. Although I did end up having to ask for help with the headboard, it was still a pretty badass feeling when it was all done.
There were more projects that me and a few close girl friends of mine partake in. And most of the time there was booze involved. But again, I digress. It's all part of the process.
All I remember saying over and over, "Hell yeah I can do this!"
Honestly, not a day goes by where I don't take a quick skim of my place and remember that it's all mine.
And grin. :)
There are so many nights where I just turn the TV off, sit back and look around my little apartment.
And I grin.
This summer I spent countless hours looking for a new place to live. For the first time....ever, I was on the hunt for a place on my own. Such a random turn of events since just a few months prior I was on the hunt for my first house...which I bought, lived in for a weekend and as quickly as I was in the door, I was on my way out.
This apartment was a huge deal for me. The biggest mark of my independence. When I first laid my eyes on this place I knew it was the one. With the sun and the moon and the stars aligning, sure enough, my application was approved!
Movers helped bring my stuff over. Two incredible friends with helping hands assisted me with putting my kitchen and bedroom away.
Over time I started to take on little projects. There are no words to describe the feeling of accomplishment after installing the blinds in my bedroom and living room.
Of course there were f-bombs spit out quite frequently. And we won't talk about the mess of tools and nails needed to install the blinds. This was all part of the process.
I installed a hand towel holder by myself... after a few attempts.
There was the gong show which was the attempts made to install my headboard. Although I did end up having to ask for help with the headboard, it was still a pretty badass feeling when it was all done.
There were more projects that me and a few close girl friends of mine partake in. And most of the time there was booze involved. But again, I digress. It's all part of the process.
All I remember saying over and over, "Hell yeah I can do this!"
Honestly, not a day goes by where I don't take a quick skim of my place and remember that it's all mine.
And grin. :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
So long, my little one...
Last week I lost a big part of me.
My fat squeeze muffin, Jade, passed away.
Not going to lie… this has been ridiculously hard for me. Many people don’t understand the connection with cats. They say cats don’t have the same personalities/loyalties of dogs. Well, I’d like to respectfully disagree. My Jade has been a huge part of me for SO many years. He was with me when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. He was with me when I had to put my little kitty Zeus down. He was with me as we introduced my other kitty Ceasar in our lives. He travelled across Canada with me courtesy of WestJet as I embarked on my new journey of living in Halifax.
See, Jade & I have a huge bond. We’d have big ol’ conversations and I swear this cat knew what I was saying. He couldn’t verbally communicate back, but I knew his sounds, his body language, his mannerisms like no other.
I’ve had 2 cats for as long as I can remember but Jade was always numero uno (sorry Ceasar). If anything went wrong or if something happened around the house I could distinguish who did it, Jade or Ceasar, without actually seeing the event take place.
I knew what made Jade happy (food! Headbutts! Opening up the patio door so he could roll around on his back on the concrete. The list truly goes on). I knew what made Jade sad/mad/annoyed (empty food dish, kisses on the face, touching his front paws, FEET!).
There was a point this summer where Jade wasn’t staying with me for about a month or two. When it came time for me to pick him up and take him to our new home, he was elated after not seeing me for 2 months. He wouldn’t stop snuggling up against me, following me, just begging for my attention. Ceasar wasn’t as affectionate, but this wasn’t anything new to me. That’s just Ceasar.
I honestly haven’t dealt with the loss of Jade yet. I am in 100% denial. This I know, but I also know I’ll deal with it in my own way or time.
I have had some mini meltdowns in the past couple weeks.
Bawling in the morning after realizing the Squawking seagull was not Jade talking to me.
Waking up at 1:11am after having a nightmare dream of seeing Jade everywhere yet knowing he wasn’t alive, even in my dream.
Making company sit on the carpet in my living room because I cannot bear for anyone to sit in the spot where I found him motionless.
But… I’m not going to focus on that. I’m going to focus on the happy times we had together.
Like at bedtime, how he’d dig to try to get under my covers so we could spoon together. He wouldn’t let me put my back to him. Nope. He had to be nestled up in my belly area, my arm over him as we quite literally spooned. For 5 minutes. This was his timeframe. Then he would run off and sleep on his perch.
Or in the summertime as I’d have drinks on my deck. He’d sit out there with me, rolling around on the concrete. Squishing up against my leg to show me he loves me.
Or, every morning, I’d wake up and make my way over to the washroom. He’d race me there. Every morning. Just so he could rub up against my legs as I did my business.
Or, every night. He knew my nighttime routine: close blinds, get a glass of water, fill up the water in the humidifier. As I did all of this, he’d be waiting outside of my closed bedroom door, just wanting to get in because he knew it was bedtime. aka spooning time with mama.
Or, each night, I’d take his water dish to fill it up… it had to be THE water dish, the little ones, not the big ones. He could have been miles away but as soon as he heard me pick up his special water dish, he’d come running and start chatting away, so happy to get fresh water in THE water dishes.
Or the time a certain friend came over and decided he needed some exercise and chased him around my couch. Seriously, it was Nascar in Chez Lex. Poor Jade puffed up and undoubtedly wondered, “who is this crazy lady and why is she chasing me?” Meanwhile, Ceasar and I were on the couch… him, ears perked …Me, literally laughing my ass off uncontrollably. Both of us wondering “WTF *is* going on here????”
Or when he’d get an itch in his ear and scratch it and make a sound that I can only describe as what sounded like an Indian mating call.
I really could go on forever.
I’m going to miss my fat f*cker. It’s very eerie not to have him around. Ceasar and I are doing just fine, though.
I’m thankful for being able to spoon one last time. That Friday night (or Saturday morning at 5am) he dug his way under my sheets like he always does, and we did get to snuggle/spoon and all was well in the world. Surprisngly, I even took a pic of him *the* day I lost him. The three of us, Ceasar, Jade and myself were all hanging out in bed. I snapped a pic of Ceasar...
then I snapped a pic of Jade...
...Not knowing that would be the last picture I ever got to take of him.
What makes it easier is knowing he did go peacefully and painlessly… and in true Jade fashion, peed on my couch for one last time.
You will be missed my beautiful, green eyed Jadebum.
My fat squeeze muffin, Jade, passed away.
Not going to lie… this has been ridiculously hard for me. Many people don’t understand the connection with cats. They say cats don’t have the same personalities/loyalties of dogs. Well, I’d like to respectfully disagree. My Jade has been a huge part of me for SO many years. He was with me when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. He was with me when I had to put my little kitty Zeus down. He was with me as we introduced my other kitty Ceasar in our lives. He travelled across Canada with me courtesy of WestJet as I embarked on my new journey of living in Halifax.
See, Jade & I have a huge bond. We’d have big ol’ conversations and I swear this cat knew what I was saying. He couldn’t verbally communicate back, but I knew his sounds, his body language, his mannerisms like no other.
I’ve had 2 cats for as long as I can remember but Jade was always numero uno (sorry Ceasar). If anything went wrong or if something happened around the house I could distinguish who did it, Jade or Ceasar, without actually seeing the event take place.
I knew what made Jade happy (food! Headbutts! Opening up the patio door so he could roll around on his back on the concrete. The list truly goes on). I knew what made Jade sad/mad/annoyed (empty food dish, kisses on the face, touching his front paws, FEET!).
There was a point this summer where Jade wasn’t staying with me for about a month or two. When it came time for me to pick him up and take him to our new home, he was elated after not seeing me for 2 months. He wouldn’t stop snuggling up against me, following me, just begging for my attention. Ceasar wasn’t as affectionate, but this wasn’t anything new to me. That’s just Ceasar.
I honestly haven’t dealt with the loss of Jade yet. I am in 100% denial. This I know, but I also know I’ll deal with it in my own way or time.
I have had some mini meltdowns in the past couple weeks.
Bawling in the morning after realizing the Squawking seagull was not Jade talking to me.
Waking up at 1:11am after having a nightmare dream of seeing Jade everywhere yet knowing he wasn’t alive, even in my dream.
Making company sit on the carpet in my living room because I cannot bear for anyone to sit in the spot where I found him motionless.
But… I’m not going to focus on that. I’m going to focus on the happy times we had together.
Like at bedtime, how he’d dig to try to get under my covers so we could spoon together. He wouldn’t let me put my back to him. Nope. He had to be nestled up in my belly area, my arm over him as we quite literally spooned. For 5 minutes. This was his timeframe. Then he would run off and sleep on his perch.
Or in the summertime as I’d have drinks on my deck. He’d sit out there with me, rolling around on the concrete. Squishing up against my leg to show me he loves me.
Or, every morning, I’d wake up and make my way over to the washroom. He’d race me there. Every morning. Just so he could rub up against my legs as I did my business.
Or, every night. He knew my nighttime routine: close blinds, get a glass of water, fill up the water in the humidifier. As I did all of this, he’d be waiting outside of my closed bedroom door, just wanting to get in because he knew it was bedtime. aka spooning time with mama.
Or, each night, I’d take his water dish to fill it up… it had to be THE water dish, the little ones, not the big ones. He could have been miles away but as soon as he heard me pick up his special water dish, he’d come running and start chatting away, so happy to get fresh water in THE water dishes.
Or the time a certain friend came over and decided he needed some exercise and chased him around my couch. Seriously, it was Nascar in Chez Lex. Poor Jade puffed up and undoubtedly wondered, “who is this crazy lady and why is she chasing me?” Meanwhile, Ceasar and I were on the couch… him, ears perked …Me, literally laughing my ass off uncontrollably. Both of us wondering “WTF *is* going on here????”
Or when he’d get an itch in his ear and scratch it and make a sound that I can only describe as what sounded like an Indian mating call.
I really could go on forever.
I’m going to miss my fat f*cker. It’s very eerie not to have him around. Ceasar and I are doing just fine, though.
I’m thankful for being able to spoon one last time. That Friday night (or Saturday morning at 5am) he dug his way under my sheets like he always does, and we did get to snuggle/spoon and all was well in the world. Surprisngly, I even took a pic of him *the* day I lost him. The three of us, Ceasar, Jade and myself were all hanging out in bed. I snapped a pic of Ceasar...
then I snapped a pic of Jade...
...Not knowing that would be the last picture I ever got to take of him.
What makes it easier is knowing he did go peacefully and painlessly… and in true Jade fashion, peed on my couch for one last time.
You will be missed my beautiful, green eyed Jadebum.
P-p-p poker face
I consider myself to be a very honest person. I find lying almost *hard* to do. Funny enough, I'd say I'm a faily good poker player yet I have absolutely no poker face in the game of life.
To me... this is a good thing.
However, let's me honest, I'm not going to be all high and mighty saying I've never lied, fibbed, or extended the truth. But I do take pride in knowing that what you see is pretty much what you get of me.
Lately I've come to realize that to me, a large part of honesty is actually being open and honest.
Let's discuss.
For many moons I've been a person who often finds it hard to say what is on my mind. I'm an overanalyzer and often worry that what I want to say may end up hurting another person. This has caused me to become a vault in many respects. I bottle a lot of what is on my mind for fear of the possibility of saying something stupid or hurtful. There are many times when something is on my mind or bothering me but if it involves something someone else said/did, I have a knack of just putting it away under lock and key and not actually dealing with my feelings or talking it out.
This has caused a lot of frustration. Not only of me, but surely of others.
I've played the game. I've fibbed. Danced around the truth. When people ask if I'm ok, I'll say yes, even if I'm not. Even when people have hurt me, I often don't talk to them about it because I feel I'm being irrational and/or I just want to avoid any unnecessary drama.
Let me tell you... the headaches and heartaches caused from this just aren't worth it.
Something happened this year. 2011 really has brought out a new Lex. Hense... Lex 2.0.
I stopped wanting to play the game.
I stopped putting up with people hurting me.
I no longer wanted to bite my tongue when something was bothering me.
Something inside of me kind of bursted out and I have been able to talk about what is on my mind. I have been able to call people out if they're being a douche to me, or others. When before I would have worried about causing a rift in a friendship, now I just call it like it is. And you know... honestly... The results couldn't have been better.
I feel closer in the friendships I value most.
I feel a rediculous sense of relief.
I no longer wake up at rediculous hours of the morning, not being able to shut off my brain with thoughts that just keep circling my noggin.
Being open and honest has truly proven to be very rewarding. Some people near and dear to me have taken notice and commented on how impressed they are with my new balls to the wall attitude.
If you see me walking with my head held a little higher... well... now you know why. :)
To me... this is a good thing.
However, let's me honest, I'm not going to be all high and mighty saying I've never lied, fibbed, or extended the truth. But I do take pride in knowing that what you see is pretty much what you get of me.
Lately I've come to realize that to me, a large part of honesty is actually being open and honest.
Let's discuss.
For many moons I've been a person who often finds it hard to say what is on my mind. I'm an overanalyzer and often worry that what I want to say may end up hurting another person. This has caused me to become a vault in many respects. I bottle a lot of what is on my mind for fear of the possibility of saying something stupid or hurtful. There are many times when something is on my mind or bothering me but if it involves something someone else said/did, I have a knack of just putting it away under lock and key and not actually dealing with my feelings or talking it out.
This has caused a lot of frustration. Not only of me, but surely of others.
I've played the game. I've fibbed. Danced around the truth. When people ask if I'm ok, I'll say yes, even if I'm not. Even when people have hurt me, I often don't talk to them about it because I feel I'm being irrational and/or I just want to avoid any unnecessary drama.
Let me tell you... the headaches and heartaches caused from this just aren't worth it.
Something happened this year. 2011 really has brought out a new Lex. Hense... Lex 2.0.
I stopped wanting to play the game.
I stopped putting up with people hurting me.
I no longer wanted to bite my tongue when something was bothering me.
Something inside of me kind of bursted out and I have been able to talk about what is on my mind. I have been able to call people out if they're being a douche to me, or others. When before I would have worried about causing a rift in a friendship, now I just call it like it is. And you know... honestly... The results couldn't have been better.
I feel closer in the friendships I value most.
I feel a rediculous sense of relief.
I no longer wake up at rediculous hours of the morning, not being able to shut off my brain with thoughts that just keep circling my noggin.
Being open and honest has truly proven to be very rewarding. Some people near and dear to me have taken notice and commented on how impressed they are with my new balls to the wall attitude.
If you see me walking with my head held a little higher... well... now you know why. :)
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